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Title: Eyes Like Home
Author: [livejournal.com profile] eboniorchid
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Gwaine/Merlin (hints of Arthur/Merlin)
Word Count: 422 words.
Rating: R for sexuality.
Warnings/Spoilers: Angst! Dreamfic. Hurt/comfort. Coda!fic and vague spoilers for S3.E8 "Eye of the Phoenix".
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really. Nothing.
Summary: Gwaine struggles with what feels like a neverending journey, dreaming that it's not as lonely as it is.
Soundtrack: "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk
Author's Notes: Needed Gwaine/Merlin, stat! And don't knock the soundtrack, dudes.



If Gwaine was more an honest man, he'd say "come with me," but he wasn't and he couldn't, least of all when he knew the answer was "no." Watching Merlin ride away after Arthur, he didn't need to see the tether between their horses, between their souls, to know that it was there. Still, in the first tavern on his journey south, he sat and drank and drank some more, imagining those eyes dancing with laughter sitting across the table from him, that mouth curving in the most welcoming of smiles.

He blundered his way upstairs, finally, tripping twice on the three top steps and fumbling the key so many times that he finally just broke the door in, slamming it shut behind him. He tried not to be nauseous with emotion even more so than with drink, all from the thought of Merlin under his arm, helping him up the stairs and into his room, of Merlin kindly removing his boots and curling up beside him on the bed. He wanted to imagine that it was someone else when his eyes filled with water and he held it close like a shield, never falling, but the blurry image in his mind was a dark-haired boy with a scarf and eyes that said everything though their secrets glimmered like diamonds.

The lips that kissed him in his dreams were full and warm, the body slotted next to his, slight and lithe, and he gambled his heart to plunder the riches of that mouth, to overcome that strong but awkward body and make it his. Not Arthur's. His. Moaning as his fingers held the face of his lover, as his hips took the offerings of the young man he had so come to admire, the tears that he'd held through years of unrest and aimless, homeless wanderings, fell softly, so quietly, into his lover's hair. If home was nothing to him, was nowhere, was everywhere, then why did it so suddenly feel like home was a kind look, a forgiving word, a hand that would stay him from drinking himself half to death? Why did home feel like friendship, like adventure, like genuine joy? It was only then that he shook apart – his mind, his body, and his soul – because he didn't and couldn't know why, but somewhere along the way, home had become a person and a place to rest his heart.

Merlin. It hung like a tapestry over his dreams and he mumbled it, moaned it, mourned it, in his sleep.

Date: 2010-11-05 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com
That was beautiful. Oh Gwaine, my bb! I will be thy friend!

Date: 2010-11-07 11:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! ;-) And I totes agree about befriending Gwaine. *loves the boy*

Date: 2010-11-05 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maya-freyja.livejournal.com
This is beautiful and heart-breaking! I love it!

Date: 2010-11-07 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you! It was definitely angsty to write. :)

Date: 2010-11-05 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com
Oh, that was lovely. Poor Gwaine!

Date: 2010-11-07 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you! And yes, *pets the poor boy*

Date: 2010-11-05 08:49 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-11-07 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Aching from the angst a little, yeah? At least he's pretty! :)

Date: 2010-11-07 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you! *loves back*

Date: 2010-11-05 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riventhorn.livejournal.com
That was lovely! I especially liked how he could see the bond between Merlin and Arthur, and how much Merlin's kindness had meant to him.

Date: 2010-11-07 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you! And yeah, these boys! *draws lots of hearts*

Date: 2010-11-06 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lachatblanche.livejournal.com
Oh Gwaine!! Poor darling!!! *hugs him* This was lovely! I love Gwaine so much! He's rather stolen my heart! Good job! x

Date: 2010-11-07 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you! And I totally agree! Gwaine is totally one of my favorites now! I really adore him! XD

Date: 2010-11-06 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dk323.livejournal.com
Aw, poor Gwaine! :( He likes Merlin so much and I could see him being a bit possessive over him. Shame that Merlin has his destiny with Arthur. Merlin and Gwaine make such good friends though. ♥ I enjoyed reading this. :)

Date: 2010-11-07 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Yeah. I'm glad you enjoyed this. The bond between he and Merlin is so awesome. I really adore them together as friends or more. Destiny schmestiny, LOL.

Date: 2010-11-06 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lostandalone22.livejournal.com
Great story!

Date: 2010-11-08 04:16 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-11-06 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ckll.livejournal.com
Holyyyyy! Wow! I missed your sensual kind of writing, excelelnt :D

Date: 2010-11-08 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm definitely glad to be back in the saddle! :)

Date: 2010-11-08 05:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ckll.livejournal.com
Merlin inspires us :D

Date: 2010-11-06 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wistful-fever.livejournal.com
MMPH. This is it exactly. Ouch.

Date: 2010-11-08 04:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
INORITE?! *pets the poor boy* So glad it hit the spot, though!

Date: 2010-11-28 08:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tosthyla.livejournal.com
This is perfect.

This is exactly how I imagine it.

There isn't enough Merlin/Gwaine out there yet, and I don't like it. I was an AVID Merlin/Arthur fan, I thought NOTHING could tear them apart, but in 2 episodes (now 3, I suppose, but it only took 2) Gwaine was able to mean more to me than arthur....

This is wonderful. PLEASE write more of these, becuase you're the ONLY person who GETS it.

Date: 2010-12-14 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ni0usha.livejournal.com
short and sweet and utterly heatwrenching

Date: 2011-02-04 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowdust95.livejournal.com
Tear jerking xx

Date: 2011-02-23 10:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xiongky.livejournal.com
DDD:

Awwww. This is so sad and beautiful and fkgjaldfsmkfalds and perfect. ♥♥

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