Holy shit. Ok,I have tried to read this twice but kept getting distracted. So,when I had the chance (insomnia) I started from the beginning and have now finally read this whole thing. Also, this time I took your advice and read it in the proper order, the way you meant it to be read. Made a huge difference. Jumping back and forth helped to keep Dean`s despair from overwhelming. And really, all I can say is wow. The systematic breakdown of such a strong personality could never be an easy thing yet you do it so well. Having Sam do it, the only person Dean ever really trusted other than John only horrifies everything that much more. Dean`s battles,whether with Sam or internally are intense yet I can see and hear him through all of it. His need,his ache for Sam to be his Sam again,that small sliver of hope that he will not let go off no matter what Sam does to him just blows me away. I can never tell if there is anything for Dean to see or not which makes this so damn compelling. You won`t let us know if Sam is redeemable and as much as I hate that,I love it as well. Alastair was easier and kinder than anything you put our poor boy through. I have to say tho, as a psyche major back in the day I love mostly the way he`s being broken down. Each step,each move, don`t know if Sam is planning it that way or has been coached on what to do but each step to breaking someone is taken one by one,offering glimpses of hope, crushing it then offering it again, fear ruling and controlling, mixture of pain and pleasure and forcing so much onto Dean`s shoulders, his for blame,his to accept,his to claim, his to own or own up to. Pain alone would never break a man but the rest. If I didn't know better I would think you took much of this out of the Kubark before it was sanitized. lol I notice tho that this was done in Nov. Are you still working it? Shall I keep my own sliver of hope or are you kinder to your readers?
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Ok,I have tried to read this twice but kept getting distracted. So,when I had the chance (insomnia) I started from the beginning and have now finally read this whole thing. Also, this time I took your advice and read it in the proper order, the way you meant it to be read. Made a huge difference. Jumping back and forth helped to keep Dean`s despair from overwhelming. And really, all I can say is wow. The systematic breakdown of such a strong personality could never be an easy thing yet you do it so well. Having Sam do it, the only person Dean ever really trusted other than John only horrifies everything that much more. Dean`s battles,whether with Sam or internally are intense yet I can see and hear him through all of it. His need,his ache for Sam to be his Sam again,that small sliver of hope that he will not let go off no matter what Sam does to him just blows me away. I can never tell if there is anything for Dean to see or not which makes this so damn compelling. You won`t let us know if Sam is redeemable and as much as I hate that,I love it as well. Alastair was easier and kinder than anything you put our poor boy through. I have to say tho, as a psyche major back in the day I love mostly the way he`s being broken down. Each step,each move, don`t know if Sam is planning it that way or has been coached on what to do but each step to breaking someone is taken one by one,offering glimpses of hope, crushing it then offering it again, fear ruling and controlling, mixture of pain and pleasure and forcing so much onto Dean`s shoulders, his for blame,his to accept,his to claim, his to own or own up to. Pain alone would never break a man but the rest. If I didn't know better I would think you took much of this out of the Kubark before it was sanitized. lol I notice tho that this was done in Nov. Are you still working it? Shall I keep my own sliver of hope or are you kinder to your readers?