Great story, very hot. Great job of Parker's POV. My only note is that "cunt" in narration, versus dialouge, takes away from the story a bit. It's distracting. Admittedly worked with Parker as the storyteller, but perhaps don't put it I. The first sentence next time. Just my observation.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-01-10 10:40 am (UTC)