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Title: Whore Academy [Evil!Sammy Universe]
Author: [livejournal.com profile] eboniorchid
Full Header for the Series

Chapter Five: Remembering and Forgetting
[059.Listless]

Sam gave a final grunt of satisfaction and tugged his cock out of Dean's mouth, tucking himself in. Then he unwound the leash from his hand and tossed it up on the desk near Dean's head with a thunk that made Dean cringe before reaching for the latch at his collar and snapping it off to stuff it all back into his pocket. Dean could feel Mr. Winchester moving behind him, too, letting his cock slip free from his hole with a long drip of come as he adjusted his clothes with a swish and a zzzip. Other than that, though, the room was utterly silent.

He could hear breathing as the two men moved away from him and wondered if he was allowed to get up yet, wondered if the students sitting mere feet behind him had enjoyed the fucking show so much they'd forgotten how to speak. Or … maybe they were just sitting there thinking about how it might be them next time. It didn't really matter, though, what they thought. He knew why he'd- … Or at least he thought he knew.

Trust me.

It hurt and it didn't make any sense and … as he pushed up from the desk and bent to pull up and fasten his pants, he felt ashamed. As he buckled his belt, not bothering to tuck in his shirt, he could feel the shifting of spunk in his ass and wondered, vaguely, if there'd be stains, if everyone would be able to tell just how recently and thoroughly he'd been fucked from discolored spots on his once pristine clothes. He kept telling himself it didn't matter, hoping that Sam was still with him, that he still … cared. It felt like he'd been wondering that a long time, though, and he wasn't sure if all this was really proof of anything.

"Clean up the mess." Mr. Winchester's voice, a breath away from his ear, nearly made Dean jump and he froze as a broad hand found his hip. "I want my desk put back just the way it was when you first walked in this morning. You understand me, whore?"

He couldn't find words for a moment, barely remembering how to breathe, but Mr. Winchester gave him no time or space to find his voice, sliding up behind him to press flush against his back.

"You're clearly not the type for idle hands, so … if you can't clean this to my satisfaction, then I'll just have to put you into service in ways that you've already proved yourself. … Know what I mean?"

Dean's eyes shut tight, but he nodded.

"Say it."

He swallowed and his breath shook, but he willed his voice into action. "Yes, sir."

Mr. Winchester didn't let him go right away, though, instead, reaching around to fiddle with the bottom front edge of Dean's untucked shirt. "You know this uniform is filthy, right, whore?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'd usually just tell you to go without, but … since you don't seem to care about the clothing that we graciously allowed you to have, why don't you just … not waste my good towels … and mop things up with this stained up junk on your back?" Mr. Winchester's voice dropped lower, hands pressing against Dean's thighs now, as he leaned in even closer until Dean could nearly feel the deep vibration of lips against his ear. "And besides … smelling like a dirty whore all day should help put things in perspective, don't you think?"

The words caught in his throat several times over as he tried not to just make things worse by pulling away from the sick heat of the teacher at his back. He wished he could see Sam, could know if he would - what? Allow this? He'd said he'd- … Sam would probably say this wasn't fucked up enough to keep him busy and have him lick things clean, like … before. Another twisted half-memory he had no context for.

"You listening to me, whore? I said, reeking like an overused slut will help you remember what you're good for, won't it?" The slick tones worming their way into his brain from Mr. Winchester's mouth sent an overwhelming urge to get away pounding into Dean's blood, but he was stuck to the spot. He was barely holding back the flock of fluttery things straining to escape from his come-filled stomach, but then there were fingers moving towards his fly and his heart sped out of control. "Or did you already forget what that was?"

"No." The word burst out of him quieter than he'd heard it in his head, but it was forceful enough to halt the progress of hands he'd only had on him much more intimately mere minutes earlier. Cleaning was better. He could- … Cleaning was better. "I'll clean … okay? Just … let me do it. I can do it."

"Good." Mr. Winchester pulled back, his hands on Dean's upper arms now. "Thought you'd come around. Wanna make Sam proud, huh?"

It was more like 'wanna keep Sam safe', but he bit anyway, voice soft. "Yes, sir."

Dean felt the teacher finally turn away from him, then, calling for the next student, some girl named Mel, to start her recitation. The soft thud of her shoes coming his way reminded Dean that he was practically center stage and he quickly surveyed the damage to figure out where exactly to start. Before he'd moved, however, he felt a light tap on his shoulder and he turned around cautiously, coming face to face with a tall brunette with wavy hair, richly copper skin, and a warm smile that actually met her eyes and even seemed to be aimed his way.

"I think you're in my spot."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." He ducked his head, moving to bow out towards the scattered papers behind him, but she put a hand on his arm, so he halted, eyes downcast, not wanting any more trouble.

She didn't berate him, though, just leaned in close to his ear and whispered with obvious concern. "Take care of my boy, alright? He needs you."

Dean nodded, not entirely sure what she was talking about, but assuming she meant Sam, and he met her eyes once more when she let her hand fall away, trying to remember if he knew her. Nothing came to him, though, so he just moved on over to the mess covering the floor and knelt to start stacking and corralling all the displaced items.

He heard her speech in bits and pieces as he went about working behind and below her, replacing things on the desk and trying to make sure everything looked as close to his memory of it as possible. She seemed to be in the same program Sam was in, her words some modified version of the ones Dean had heard while standing in the corner, and when he looked up and really watched her for a moment, he realized that she was talking almost directly to the redhead down front and she had that girl grinning like she'd won the lottery or something. It made him smile a bit, but it also made him wonder if he was missing a whole lot more than just the story of how all this happened. Was he supposed to have that kind of adoration for Sam? Even with everything being all twisted and fucked up like this?

The question was still the dominant one in Dean's mind as he mopped up the last drips of come with his shirt and ensured that the desk layout was as close to perfect as he'd ever be able to get it. It meant that he was standing up by the blackboard somewhat dazedly when he was finally through and only came to himself when Sam passed by, grabbing his hand.

"Come here."

Dean followed, mind still churning, as Sam dragged him toward a couch in the front corner of the room that definitely hadn't been there before. He went, though, looking down at Sam for a moment after he'd sat down, and just tried to make sense of bits of things on his path to getting everything aligned in his head.

"Is that couch really there?" It felt like a stupid question but a smart one at the same time, as if the tightly stitched seams of this place were starting to give a little more now.

"Of course." Sam smiled genuinely and it clenched at Dean's heart, somehow wondering if it had been a long time since he'd seen that. "Sit with me."

He was wary only for a moment, then he slid down beside his brother, looking at the yellowing stains on the bottom of his shirt.

"You did well. Mostly. I wasn't sure for a bit there, but … you did well."

Dean turned to look at Sam, jaw clenched. "Am I supposed to say 'thanks' now?"

Sam shrugged, some, smile saddening a little. "That would be nice."

Huffing out air in disbelief, Dean shook his head at his brother, brow creasing. "I can't believe you just want me to go on like nothing happened, like- … like you didn't change back there."

There was the flash of something dark in Sam's eyes for a second, but no smirk came through as his head fell back, defiant. "Oh, like you didn't?"

Dean's eyes dropped then, heart stuttering with his breath as he pushed away memories of himself whoring it up pretty spectacularly mere minutes before. "Let's just … not talk about that."

"Fine." Sam nodded curtly and took a deep breath before letting his eyes wander back to the class session in progress. The redhead was up now, soft-spoken and deferential as her voice meandered through the winding oaths of a slave.

For a moment, Dean watched Sam watch the girl, his brother's eyes occasionally flipping to the woman who'd whispered in his ear about taking care of him. It made him ache for more of the memories still lost in the ether somewhere. There was just so much that he was missing and he felt like he'd keep missing it if he didn't find it soon.

He swallowed as he spoke, quiet and uncertain. "Is that supposed to be me? I mean … is that how I'm supposed to …" feel? act? love? … surrender? "… be?"

Sam didn't look at him as he smiled sadly, almost turning away more as he shook his head. "Let's just … not talk about that."

Dean took in the soft strain written on his brother's features and felt like he'd fucked up somewhere … or maybe a lot of somewheres … and he didn't know how to fix it. So they just sat quiet, listening to a string of people repeating familiar words and others, like that pompous grey-eyed boy, swearing oaths of fealty to commanders as soldiers rather than slaves. Dean couldn't help but feel bad for whoever had to fight next to trash like that, even if he couldn't exactly remember anything about the supposed revolution that everyone seemed hell-bent on preparing for. Or … maybe it had already happened. That would rather explain all this talk of slaves and masters and hex-bound school rooms surrounded by Nothing with a capital N. His mind wouldn't let him ponder anything fully, though, and kept drawing him back into more and more boring, perplexing speeches until he felt himself nearly nodding off.

Reaching for his brother's shirt sleeve, he leaned in to try talking again, since sleeping in class was probably punishable to an even more extreme degree. "So … are we done?"

Sam's head tilting one way then the next before he turned to look at him. "Well … you still have a lot to learn." He smiled some, then, but his gaze shifted downward. "Me too, I guess."

Dean tried to keep calm by consciously steadying his breathing as his eyes swept idly over the mess of his brother's hair. "So … we're stuck here?"

"No." Sam lifted his eyes still clouded with a kind of sadness. "We'll learn more elsewhere."

Nodding, Dean spoke with a puff of a laugh despite the anxiety roiling inside him. "In this crazy school?"

"No." Sam's smile held the same sadness as his eyes, despite the wistful way he spoke. "Out in the world."

"Yeah?" Dean couldn't help but cheer up some at the thought of getting out of this bizarre place, but there were bits of him pushing him to doubt that it would truly be an improvement on his current situation.

Sam inhaled slowly and let it out with a sigh and a nod. "Later."

Dean's eyebrows lifted just a little as he nudged his brother, head jerking subtly in the direction of the door. "Why not now?"

"Just relax, alright?" Sam reached up to the side of Dean's face to brush what must have been imaginary stray hairs behind his ear with a broad smile that lit his eyes. "Give it time."

On any other day, Dean would've probably pulled away from that touch, but today, after everything, he found himself leaning into it and closing his eyes for a moment as they sat silently. His mind kept moving, though, slowly chugging its way through unanswered questions and ghosts of memories.

He didn't open his eyes at first, but eventually popped one open, squinting up at Sam. "Can you explain why there are sort of two of you here?"

"Hmm." Sam pulled Dean in, pressing a kiss to his forehead and guiding him down to lay out with his head in his lap. "We all get what we need here. Don't worry about it, okay?" He toyed with Dean's tie, fingers brushing over his shirted chest, slow and soothing. "It's all taken care of."

Dean twisted some in his recline so he could look up at his brother, unease roughening his voice more than curiosity. "What's taken care of?"

Sam just shrugged, lips quirking in a sort of smile as his fingers moved gently across Dean's abdomen and grazed over his hair. "Everything."

Sam almost sounded at peace with it all, but the fact that he hadn't really answered the question only succeeded in worrying Dean more. "What does that mean? Come on, Sam. Talk to me."

"Dean, you keep fighting." Sam's forehead creased as he shook his head sadly. "You're not there yet."

"Sam, just- … I won't, okay?" He knew his words were hasty and perhaps not entirely true, but … he didn't like Sam cutting him out like this. Again, he realized, though he still had no context, and his body tensed with frustration. "Just- … Whatever it is. Just tell me."

"Not yet. You're not ready and you don't need to know." There was an edge creeping into the peace in Sam's voice, but as his fingers left Dean's tie and moved to brush lightly over his lips, Sam's tone brightened, full of honest affection. "Don't worry. I've got you."

Dean sighed, not nearly defeated, but a little less anxious. "Sam. Seriously. I'm going crazy here. I need- …"

Sam shook his head, voice firm and fingers pressing stronger against Dean's lips. "No. I know what you need and words aren't it."

Even with the weight of Sam's hand, Dean struggled to mumble out his request. "But, Sam, this is- …"

"Shhh."

Dean felt a wave of weariness come over him, sending his eyes fluttering shut, mind buffering itself against the truths of the day with the warm darkness of coming oblivion. He felt like he was leaving, all of a sudden, like Sam's hands had been keeping him there, but now he couldn't feel them and he was going somewhere else, somewhere he didn't want to go … not without Sam.

"Sam? Sammy?" His voice was barely a murmur, but it echoed gently as if he were floating in some cavernous space.

"Trust me."

He wasn't even sure, this time, if it was a whisper in the world or in his head, but he saw the white begin to roll back in, a dense cloud of brightness covering his eyes now more than blinding them. Memories tumbled into his mind on the heels of that white as if they'd been stuffed away and straining somewhere deep behind his eyes. Others, though, ones he'd glimpsed and made here, just crawled away in silence until he couldn't reach them anymore and forgot that they were ever even there.

And as the white faded into still darkness, "trust me" faded too.

Header - One - Two - Three - Four - Five



Further Author's Notes: I labeled this dream!fic, because there isn't really a category for ambiguously dream-like fic or seems-like-it-might-be-a-dream fic. I think there are tells that go in one direction or another, and I know what I think it is, but I'd just ask you to keep in mind the source of the information, being a very confused Dean. Also, just a quick FYI. My gay girl OFC was not a reaction to S2. I was totally Kripke'd! Not my fault. Though, mind you, I think mine is better. ;)

Date: 2007-07-06 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] guardianangel-x.livejournal.com
Wow... that was fucked up, lol.
Good... but... fucked up! LOLZ

Date: 2007-07-09 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Well thank you! I'm fairly certain that it was intended to be fucked up, so ... I'm glad that came through, but that you found it "good" anyway. Thanks for the feedback!

Date: 2007-07-06 05:50 am (UTC)
ext_8208: (kiss)
From: [identity profile] merihn.livejournal.com
Um... I'll admit I don't really know what to say here. I can't say that I actually enjoyed it... but your writing is really fantastic. Really. But... it was way too fucked up and sick for me to actually enjoy.

I hope you don't take that badly, because it's not about your writing, not in anyway, but the subject matter. I... don't get off on the punishment, master/slave thing... or on pain... so...

But really, your writing is brilliant and you did such a good job with this. It was fucked up.

&hearrts; ♥ ♥

Well, I said almost everything in my e-mails...

Date: 2007-07-06 10:41 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
But I can't *not* leave a comment. I'm like merihn here - I adore the writing, but it's not my kink. The whole thing makes me incredibly sad. So much suffering.

More in e-mail, and again, you're so talented!

Yours
~L

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Date: 2007-07-06 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aesvir.livejournal.com
Sam asking Dean to trust him adds that extra layer of mind-fuck.

Date: 2007-07-09 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
It does, doesn't it? It's kind of a question about whether there's actual tenderness there or just more manipulation, no? Thanks for reading and commenting! :)

Date: 2007-07-06 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missyjack.livejournal.com
It's hard to sum up all my reactions to this in one comment (but here goes). AS always what stands out for me is the emotional dimension entwined with the power dynamic. There is the aspect of all this that I find so hot, but it has a greater impact than only that because of the emotional resonance. And the whole Sam/notquiteSam/Dean dynamic is just brilliant.

And on top of all that there is a fluidity and poerty in your writing that enhances the whole mood, that really takes it into this sort of dream space.

Date: 2007-07-09 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for your nuanced feedback, as always. I'm glad the layers of emotion impacted you, even beyond the physicality of things. The student!Sam-teacher!Sam-Dean thing was such an interesting area to explore, so I'm glad you thought it well done. I love all the speculation about who's who and what's what. :) And then, your note about the poetics of things? Thank you, really. These pieces kill me every time I write them, so I'm always glad to know when they flow well.

♥ for MJ 4eva,
~D

Date: 2007-07-06 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ge55woo.livejournal.com
i was so excited when i saw you posted, and it really lived up to expectations! extremely hot and great character development

Date: 2007-07-09 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Oh thank you so so much! I'm always glad to know that people are excited about this series and even more glad when they feel the read is worth it. It's great to hear that the hotness and the character development both came through and I appreciate your feedback! :D

Date: 2007-07-06 02:14 pm (UTC)
ext_16769: (Default)
From: [identity profile] steelknight.livejournal.com
Thank you for posting this, awesome job with it!!! Bravo!

Date: 2007-07-09 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it as much as you did! And thanks for the feedback!

Date: 2007-07-06 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sawyersparrow.livejournal.com
This was amazing, had to re-read it a few times to make sure that I hadnt missed anything. Poor Dean being all confused and then it all coming into focus when he was being fucked.

Loved sam and notquitesam making him take it. Sam being all sweet to him until he was watching him being fucked.

Excellent ficcy cant wait for more of this love the whole series!!!!

More soon please!!!!!

Date: 2007-07-09 06:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought it good enough to read a few times over. That's such a compliment! And it's always awesome to hear that people are enjoying this 'verse. Thanks for the feedback!

Date: 2007-07-07 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] akm30.livejournal.com
As you know, I love your fics and evil Sam abusing Dean is definetly my biggest kink. Although I am still stuck back in some of your earlier fics where Dean is locked in the room and being Sam's horror. I guess he still is, but I have to admit, I'm a tad confused. Anyways, awesome fics, you know I love your writing and can't wait for more of this series. Yeah,I'm so glad you updated. keep them coming, please!

Date: 2007-07-07 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you very much. I'm glad you like my work.

I am sorry to have confused you, though, I suppose. This is dream!fic, so, as with other dream!fics in this 'verse, odd/confusing things are apt to happen. Was there something in particular you had questions about, though? I'll certainly answer anything I can.

Date: 2007-07-07 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] traffic-west.livejournal.com
Alrighty, so, even though I was officially "going to bed" last night, I stayed up to finish this because I couldn't stop reading! This is really phenomenal. Like I said, the characterization is fabulous and while I just really cringe because OMG YOU HURT DEEN, etc etc. I think this is just smart writing. Brava, dear.

Date: 2007-07-09 06:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you, darling! It's awesome to hear that you were roped in and couldn't get away, especially since there was the cringing issue. :) I'm glad the characterizations worked for you and as for "smart writing," you have my deepest thanks. Love the feedback. ♥

Date: 2007-07-07 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agt-league.livejournal.com
Okay, that's my fic-reading for the week. *head spin*

Nice writing.

Date: 2007-07-09 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Heh. Thank you! And is your head spinning over the content? Do let me know if you need clarifications. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Date: 2007-07-07 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] idiot4dean.livejournal.com
I stayed up til gone 2 in the morning reading this when I first saw it but was too tired to comment. Sorry!!!

Just read again and this was seriously messing with my head. I'm making the presumption that Sam is good dream Sam who is trying to guide Dean into understanding where he stands in the new world. I know Dean really doesn't want to accept what Evil!Sam has done to him and it is only through dreams that he will be able to process and try to accept.

It was interesting setting it in a classroom with other pupils going through similar lessons. Will we be meeting some of these characters again?

As always looking forward to the next.

Date: 2007-07-09 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Awww, thanks for staying up to read me! :D I think there are multiple ways to interpret this, but I really like your interpretation. And yeah, the vast majority of this verse occurs in one suite, so it's nice to be able to get out of the room for a minute and try something different. The other pupils will absolutely show up again! If I were you I'd totally keep my eyes peeled. :) Thanks for the great feedback and for sharing your ideas! Love it! :D

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Date: 2007-07-07 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Is it still confusing if you think of it as a dream? If you think of it as a dream, Dean is presumably asleep in his bed and experiencing all this as a world in his dreams. In "Dreamwalking" it was revealed that Sam has the ability to manipulate dreams, so ... might this be one such dream?

I'm happy to answer questions if you're still confused. Are you still confused?
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Date: 2007-07-08 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked the story, though I'm sorry that you were thrown off a bit by the Sam/Dean established relationship.

I didn't realize until you mentioned it that it wasn't in the warnings and for that you have my apologies. I do try to warn for everything I can think of as potentially offensive to folks, but occasionally I make mistakes. So, I'm sorry you got drawn in only to get a bit squicked.

Date: 2007-07-09 10:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterboost.livejournal.com
I really liked this one.. I could really sense Dean's confusion in the beginning about everything. Oh, and the whole thing with Sam and Mr. Winchester.. I don't know if they were both Sam or both Evil!Sam, but it was brilliant. And then Sam asking Dean to trust him at the end.. I don't know but.. I just.. Yeah, I love it! :D
Also, those few lines about Dean's memories coming back? Loved the way you described that.

So would this be too soon to be asking for more..? ;) I was thinking I should probably start re-reading the whole thing sometimes, but I don't really have the time for it, haha. Looking forward to more, as always. Great job!

Date: 2007-07-09 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much, honey! I'm glad you found the confusion and the character interactions intriguing and yay for enjoying my descriptions, my endings are very important to me. And no, you're allowed to ask for more whenever you like! *g*

And I totally understand the re-reading everything situation, a few people have mentioned doing that, and I admit to doing it a lot while I'm writing, but I understand not having the time, and, hey, you can always wait 'til the very end and then go back on a holiday or something. :D

Thanks again! I always appreciate your feedback!

Date: 2007-07-11 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
You´re just brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing. Olantis

Date: 2007-07-11 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for saying so. It's terribly kind of you. I'm glad you like my work. And thanks for the lovely feedback!

Date: 2007-07-12 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mre-quecky.livejournal.com
Wow, I've been to London for a week and so I've got to catch up.
But this was the first fic I had to read ASAP!
And it was really tense!
The two Sams were great. That's what I think of it:
Sam is kinda a middle person between the old Sam Dean used to know and the new evil!Sam. It's kind of we get to know how Sam become evil!Sam. He's protecting Dean in some wicked way and he has to learn to behave as it is pleased in the evil universe.
The new Sam doesn't want to share Dean, not even in a dream or whatever it is, so the teacher gets his looks.
Dean perhaps gets the chance to understand new Sam's motivation.
Both of them figure out, that they kinda like it dirty...

Yeah, so I'm not sure if this is a lesson Sam wants to teach Dean, with a little bit of old Sam sneaking in (perhaps it's the real hidden Sam in Dean's brain???) or just Dean's subconsciousness trying to work out the stuff that happened.
Would you mind hinting somewhere???

And just so you know: This fic was dark and evil and yes, I so felt like Dean, your writing is brilliant, fantastic, whatever..., and I can easily switch into his character while reading and feel the same confusion he gets between pain and pleasure.

Date: 2007-07-13 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
First off? You get mad props for being the person with speculation closest to what I thought people might theorize after this piece. So ... bravo.

Secondly, thank you so much for being all gung ho about reading my fic. I'm glad you're enjoying the series so much! And your praise and incredible feedback are always deeply appreciated.

Now then ... here are hint-like things that do not purport to lay a claim on the Truth or the Ultimate Interpretation or any other such nonesense, because despite the fact that I am the author, I like leaving things flexible.

As for interpreting the source of dream (evil!Sam vs. Dean's subconscious - maybe vs. real!Sam in Dean's head), I like allowing space for readers to take it where they like, but ... chronologically this happens very early after Dean's been enslaved, so I'm not sure if he has enough of the pieces to make Sam's story even make this much sense. However, the fact that some of Dean's apparent kinks play into this so prevalently and the fact that some of the things he thinks actually then end up happening in the dream, suggests, to me, that he has some level of control here.

Too, Sam's not entirely in control because Dean gets access to things that Sam apparently didn't want him to see/know. But ... student!Sam's balancing act between good and evil, doesn't seem to be a problem that we ever see the real/dream!Sam in Dean's head have. So ... just from what's been revealed in the 'verse so far, it might be reasonable to theorize that this is almost a JOINT production between Dean and "evil!Sam". I'd almost imagine that the mind is a very complex place and direct manipulation is difficult to do across a two-way bond without making oneself vulnerable.

I mean ... who is this antagonizing grey-eyed boy? Who is this Mel girl who says Sam needs Dean? And is Mr. Winchester just a device to teach this lesson who happens to be wearing Sam's face? Or are we actually seeing two parts of the Sam who's enslaved Dean? If so, what does it mean for there to be a softer and a harder side to Sam when Dean sees the harder side almost exclusively? What if it isn't a lesson at all? What if it's an experiment? What if it's a test?

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From: [identity profile] mre-quecky.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-07-14 08:55 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-07-16 08:43 am (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2007-07-15 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] odd-for-sods.livejournal.com
Must say I really enjoyed reading this. I found this incredibly hot and, god did I feel all Dean's confusion and distress, as well as pleasure. I wanted to seriously smack Sam at the end. I don't care if it was all a dream in Dean's head, it was still Sam manipulating his brother for his own ends.

Good!Sam vs Evil!Sam? Well, I felt both were present to varying degrees. They appear to be waging a war for Dean's soul and he's the one paying the price. The bastards!

Congratulations and thank you for sharing.

Date: 2007-07-16 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Awesome! I'm glad that you could get caught up in the complex feelings of the characters. And, I can see why you might want to knock a little sense into the various Sams. Dean does seem a bit caught in the middle.

Thanks for the feedback! :D

Date: 2007-07-21 05:14 am (UTC)
tigriswolf: (NotMegSam2)
From: [personal profile] tigriswolf
There is more, right? 'cause... DAMN.

Date: 2007-08-13 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
LOL. Yes, darling, there is always more, tons and tons more. (I totally didn't even know you were reading this! Glad to have you aboard.) :)

luvs

Date: 2007-07-29 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nephthys101.livejournal.com
Thanks for the new story. I think I'm one of the few here that actually adore the Slave/Dean type stories. I can't help it, I blame Jensen. If Jensen wasn't so pretty I probably wouldn't be reading fanfiction. I absolutely loved this part and I'm slightly confused. But hey, it's a dream fic so things are going to be amibiguous. I'm already over it :) Here are some questions.


1. This story happens before the Sammy Out There and the Sammy In Here right?
2. Is it me, or does Sam come off here as one jealous b***h.
3. I'm getting a little ahead here. In Just For You, why would Sam feel the need to get intoxicated? Are we going to know more about that elixir? And why he took it?
4. From the time Dean is taken by Evil Sam to I Dream of Death, how much time has passed?
5. Is it me or does Sam have more problems than Dean? Dean's only concerns seem to be his situation and maybe the world outside.
6. Are we going to hear more from Evil Sam's mind. We have one story and snippets here and there. But are we going to find out what's really going on in his mind?

Man I have stupid questions.


ANd by the way, If Evil Sam is protecting Dean from being killed or tortured by something even more EVIL(I think it was implied here) I think I'm going to scream because it's something I haven't been focusing on.

And by golly, am I dreaming or is Evil Sam just trying to get Dean to love him as he is. I think Dean had that problem before Sam turned evil.

Sorry so long but I just love this 'verse.

Re: luvs

Date: 2007-08-13 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
*waves*

Oh man. I'm a huge slave!Dean fan, but I don't see too many of those type of fics around, really. You'll have to let me know if you find anything good! (If you haven't already, I'd say check out the work of [livejournal.com profile] amara_m and [livejournal.com profile] kittyfisher, as those are the two names that I think of, other than myself, for slave!Dean fics.)

As for this fic, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I totally think some confusion is okay, but you're always welcome to ask questions, which you clearly already understand, thank goodness, and which I'll always try to answer as best I can.

1. Yes, this fic is set before "Dreamwalking" (the one with the Sam In Here/Sam Out There parts).

2. Sam does seem kind of jealous, maybe, but remember they're also both working from really different life experiences. Dean has always been very free with his sex life while Sam has always been more reserved, but Sam is the one who originally had sex forced on him in this 'verse, so ... there may be more in the mix than just jealousy. I mean, Dean gives away the exact thing that was forcefully taken from Sam, that has to be an awkward situation at least, if not one of bitterness or something else of that ilk.

3. Wow! You are totally on the ball here. I think you might be the only one who's asked this question. Yes, you will get to know more about what Sam's inebriated with and why. I think, though, that there are some hints about why early on in the fic, because Dean seems to have some basic, though incomplete, sense of why Sam got drunk. So ... maybe try checking out the first few paragraphs again. I think it still leaves lots of questions up in the air, but there are some clues.

4. Taking the Day of Fire (the start of the war/Hell-on-earth/rise-of-the-Fallen) as Day 1, "I Dream of Death" likely happens about 3 months into their newly twisted relationship. The timing of things is intentionally ambiguous, because most times Dean himself doesn't know dates and can't always remember everything well enough to know the days, especially as they add up. Before I told you, though, did you have a time period in mind for these happenings?

5. Oh, how insightful! Sam has A LOT of problems, in the world, in his head, just- ... yeah, Sam is a total mess. Mind you, though, that he doesn't think he's a mess, for the most part. He thinks his way of thinking about and handling things is fairly reasonable, right? Which, I mean, isn't that the common joke about insanity? If people can think straight well enough to question their own sanity, they're probably okay, but if they're adamant about how absolutely sane they are then they're nuttier than anything going?

Really, though, how could Sam not have problems? I mean, the poor guy was constantly abused, violated, deprived, brainwashed, and forced to be violent in order to have any kind of peace in his hovel of a cell for 8 months. And, that's not even bringing in all the issues with having to live in a world run by demons and do whatever kind of "job" it is that they have him doing, right? I mean, I can't excuse his behavior towards Dean, but it's not like Sam's got it made in the shade or something here.

(tbc)

Re: luvs

From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-08-13 12:04 pm (UTC) - Expand

newbie love

Date: 2007-08-03 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
HI,
i just found this verse and it's not my normal read. but i love it. it's exciting and it's hitting some of my major kink buttons(some i didn't realize i have). i have a few questions myself like 1. what's the condition of the impala? 2. where's Deans amulet? and 3. somewhere in the beginning E. Sam said something like he wasn't sure Dean would survive the change and he(E.Sam) said he would have to make him. Are we talking environmental changes? political ones? Demons don't breath, do they?

*i love the way we're in Dean's head. if we were in E.Sam's i think we'd know too much too soon.* *smiles* because i'm strangely enjoying this.

Re: newbie love

Date: 2007-08-13 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Well, I'm glad you gave this a chance and that it's working for you! As to your questions:

1. LOL. I recently added this question to my FAQ. Theoretically, it's just outside, but Dean obviously hasn't seen it and Sam doesn't talk about it, so its status remains a mystery … at least until later installments.

2. Dean's amulet was presumably taken from him with the rest of his clothes and personal affects, which he presumably doesn't have access to, but, like the Impala, it may reappear in later installments.

3. Ah, the changes. Well, there have been many changes, but I think in that context Sam was referring to Dean's ability to handle both of their very personal transitions, his own from a free hunter to an enslaved whore, and his brother's from a fellow hunter to a full-time supporter of the demonic cause. It's interesting that you brought up the environment, though, because it won't be explained/explored until much later, but I'll generally say, assume less that Earth has been made into Hell in a physical sense and more that Earth has been made into Hell in a socio-cultural/political sense. There is physical damage due to war and just demonic fun, but there is still certainly breathable air.

I'm glad you appreciate the POV, a lot of people are begging for a Sam POV, but the 'verse very much needs to be Dean and the readers trying to figure this all out, so ... yeah. I'm glad you're liking it! And thanks for the great feedback! :)

Date: 2007-12-17 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neeuqdrazil.livejournal.com
*is ded*

The angst. Confused!Dean, and Sweet!Evil!Sam, and Mr.Winchester!Sam, and aaaahhhh!

(And the sex. *needs a mop* As I said earlier today, I am a sick fuck. And thank you for feeding my sickness. ;) )

Date: 2008-01-12 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
*hee* Thank you! I am always happy to help out a fellow perv. :D

Date: 2010-05-12 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maraceles.livejournal.com
I'm reading through your series right now, and so far, I love this fic the best. (Granted, I'm reading chronologically from the 'Day of Fire,' so I haven't read through them all yet.)

I love so many things about this fic: I like the ambiguity of who the dream characters are and what they represent. I wonder whether it is Dean or Sam or a combination of the two (or even more people than that) generating the dream images. I'm intrigued by the possible glimpses this dream shows us of the 'real' world situation and Sam's conflicts outside of Dean's immediate space--on how much of Sam's slaving Dean is due to Sam being broken himself, and due to Sam rescuing Dean the best way he knows how, due to Sam being under outside pressure. I adored how both student!Sam and Dean changed into their more corrupted versions when actually fucking, and how quickly they changed back to their brotherly-trusting relationship when the scene ended. (God, and I don't know how to interpret that change and reverse-change, but it is a very interesting idea to ponder). I am completely torn up by wondering how much of Sam's feelings are genuine or plainly manipulative (and I actually think they're genuine but being used manipulatively, myself). There is so much going on in this fic, and I love that.

The sex in these fics is--not hot, exactly, at least not for me personally. (And just let me put my voice in here that your "Burying the Hunter" fic scarred me, because wow, unlike a lot of people apparently, I did not find that hot. At all. I mean, I understand how it could be viewed that way, but that aphrodisiac more than anything Sam has done by force was a huge violation of who Dean was and of his agency. I mean, fuck, it's the very thing that gets Dean to ask for punishment--it's the worse thing, by far. Um. Shorter version: Excellent writing, and now I'm scarred for life. Bwhaha.)

I usually don't read fic like this, with an evil!Sam so far gone--usually, Leonidaslion's "Suiteverse" is as far as I can take myself--but man, those small glimpses of old!real!Sam get me each and every time. That one small whisper of Sam's in "Training Day" after Dean kisses Sam sweetly--dude, I'm pretty much reading this just to figure out how much of good!Sam remains in the current incarnation, and how much Dean can reach him. Also, I'm curious as to how much agency and power Dean will regain upon accepting his whore persona (as in, that which bends is not always weak, and sometimes a whore can change the world), or if Sam's only agenda is keeping Dean alive and he's perfectly happy with a agency-less Dean. Argh, I just want Dean's hope in Sam to not be in vain. *g*

Anyway, this is a very interesting series. *g*

Date: 2010-10-18 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! This is one of my favorite installments in the series, so I'm so glad you loved it too! Your comments are incredibly interesting and insightful! I just want to roll around in them and savor your smarts! ;-)

I have to say that I deeply appreciate you articulating your sense of "not hot" with respect to this fic and BTH because they are definitely meant to walk the line with a leaning toward a certain kind of psychological horror and it's awesome to see someone who was so deeply affected by that horror.

And I totally respect and appreciate you engaging with this fic even if it's darker than you'd usually enjoy. I have seen pieces of Leo's work because I think we share a lot of readers, but there's definitely a way in which we're approaching things differently enough so not everyone can bridge the divide. As for the presence or not of good@Sam or the worth or futility of Dean's hope, I personally believe that hope is always the best policy and I hope you stick around to see how it all turns out!

Thanks so much for reading and for leaving such detailed awesome feedback!

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From: [identity profile] maraceles.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-10-18 07:23 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-05 06:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-07-28 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katsheswims.livejournal.com
Wow.

I'm reading through this series for the first time and there is just so much...and sometimes things are just so hard to REALLY know what's happening and why.

This installment exspecially is very trippy. I guess because it's a dream. But I know it's more than that. It may be a planned dream that evil-Sam planted in Dean's head to further his conditioning subconsciously (though I don't think everything went exactly to plan because of student-Sam, he is a 'weak' version of Sam and the teacher seemed to want to teach student-Sam too to be 'stronger' and 'give in'). Or it may somehow be a shared dream between Sam and Dean. Dean was the focus so I'm sure that he was in the dream, but I know it wasn't just his subconscious making the dream because of student-Sam's freak out/yelling at Dean, and then the flashes Dean got of the time Sam was raped by one of his captors. It's too bad Dean doesn't remember that.

I could say a lot more about this series. Sometimes it's so hot, but other times it makes me tear up, or just get so depressed or scared for Dean. But I hope you just keep writing. I can't wait to read more, and see how this ends. I know you have 2 endings and I can only imagine that one or both is more than bittersweet. I really want Sam to eventually be himself again-before the brainwashing (he did hide a piece of him in Dean)-but even if that does happen the world has been re-created and I don't know how Sam and Dean could survive in a world run by demons-though I guess they could fight? But I also can't imagine Sam or Dean going back to how they were, especially after all of thier conditioning-and I imagine Dean's will just get worse...

Date: 2010-10-18 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writingbyebonio.livejournal.com
Yeah, I'm all about romping through mysteries and ambiguities, but hopefully they reveal themselves piecemeal over time as the 'verse progresses. The nature of this particular dream is, I think especially awesome in it's complexity and potential confusions, so it's no wonder that it got your gears going.

I'm really glad you're exploring this 'verse, though, it's truly a pleasure to write, in all its mix of horror and hotness. As for the endings, I think they're fitting and good, though perhaps not what everyone's cup of tea - as with the rest of the 'verse, of course. You make a good point, though. It's not just Sam and Dean who have changed, but in fact the world was changed and its unclear if that's fixable, so I think there's a lot more intriguing ground to cover in the series and I hope you'll stick around to find out how it ends. :)

Thanks so much for all your awesome feedback!

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